An open letter to boys with no tact

openletter

Dear boys,

I’m going to persist with calling you ‘boys’ because until you prove yourself to be anything other, you don’t perhaps warrant the title of ‘man’. You may think you’re a stud and a big hit with all the girls you croon ‘babe’ to, but do you want to know something? Hold onto your hats while I drop a massive truth bomb: you’re actually kind of creepy and there are several reasons why. I think that my sister and I have had several downright hilarious experiences with boys who think they’re the next Ryan Gosling, so I think I’m qualified enough to address you all; please allow me to be the spokesperson for all women who are put off by your advances and completely turned off by your ‘game’ or lack thereof. Listen up, you there in the front!

When you have as much game as Ryan Gosling. then you can use lines like this.

When you have as much game as Ryan Gosling. then you can use lines like this.

Firstly, and probably the most important thing to remember is that being too sexually explicit can have the complete opposite effect to your original intentions and can leave a girl shocked and uncomfortable. We live in a society where sex has turned into a commodity. This is glaringly obvious with the popularity of dating apps such as Tinder, where all you need to do is send an incredibly forward message and BOOM, sex for all! But if you get a message like that over Facebook from a guy friend you talk to fairly regularly? Oh god NO, make it stop! It’s both surprising and if you’re not feeling it, incredibly awkward! Please take this in, being too forward is not always sexy; you can’t talk sexy to her until she eventually gives in! Especially if the unsuspecting girl is just that…unsuspecting! This isn’t to say that you can’t compliment a girl or her features, but telling her how juicy her rack may be? Perhaps not, yeah?

That said, we can link nicely to point nombre deux: a bit of subtlety can go a long way. Make a girl laugh with what you’re saying, make her think about you and what you’re like, be at least a bit interesting and thoughtful. Be kind and be comfortable enough with a girl you’re interested in to, heaven forbid, show a bit of your own personality! Don’t just launch into all the reasons you think she’s gorgeous and perfect and how much you love her…especially if you’ve only just met her! There’s no need to go in all guns blazing all the time! Subtlety = tact and a bucket-load of ‘good game’ points. Y’know, if that’s what you want.

Finally, a key ingredient to not being THAT tactless guy – you must listen and read the signals she’s giving you. My sister has had this before with a boy who had no clue what he was on about. He was the definition of creepy and was guilty of all of the things we’ve discussed above. She tried telling him nicely, she tried telling him she needed space away from him, she tried everything but he did not get it. Don’t be that guy, please! Can you not see that listening is important? Not only in a these kinds of scenarios, but if you cannot listen and read people’s body language in the real life too, you may have trouble developing any kinds of relationships.

Now before you raise your hackles and start snapping at me, yes I know these antigentlemen (as I shall call them) are in the minority and, yes of course girls can be just as bad. Perhaps this is a lesson that everyone can learn to some extent? But hey, these are my opinions, it’s a blog! You know me well enough by now to know to take everything with a little bit of salt!

So hopefully with my handy points compiled from numerous girly chats and personal experiences, if you think you might fall into the category of hopelessly tactless with a touch of disturbingly cringey, you now know that it’s time to reassess and I wish you luck.

Love from, Lizzie

Now playing: A Day To Remember – Heartless